Our three sons are moving on with their lives. We are all here, but someday there will only be the two of us in this big house. I wonder what it will feel like? What will we talk about? What will we do? I am retired and spend most of my time waiting, which is a waste. There is a lot to do, and it’s a big world.

It is likely we will stare at each other and consider our appearance. Then we’ll remember how we looked years ago.

We will remember those who have passed—Family, friends, favorite pets.

We’ll talk about how we raised our kids. Focusing on our mistakes, forgetting what we did right.

We will remember our dreams and consider which ones came true and which ones are still out there.

We will discuss a plan to run one or two of them down as a curtain call before whatever comes next.

I sense we will spend a lot of time discussing travel. What place we want to visit next.

We won’t consider the future as time will seem short. That is what we should be doing, though. Always have space full of dreams.

We will discuss the 2020 election and how it was more of a mess than us being parents.

We will laugh at the commercials about reverse mortgages up until the point where we need one.

I sense we will watch each other and think about who is failing more. You know, having difficulty remembering things like turning off the stove.
Tag team driving will become how we get around. One watches the road while the other steers and works the gas and brakes. At some point, someone will take the keys.

We will watch the news all day.

And somewhere along the way, we will consider the past and the choices we made. We will argue about some of them and agree on some as well. It is likely I will feel sad we never bought that second home in Vermont. We will reason the timing just wasn’t right.

I expect many conversations about the trips we took with the kids, notably Alaska. How much fun we had and how beautiful it is there.

We will be alone a lot, I sense. We’ll have ample time to talk behind the backs of people we knew along the way. Our verbal filters failing, we will say things that piss off those closest to us—a favorite pastime?

And we will often sit in quiet solitude and let the voices of the past fill our heads with laughter, crying, grief, and despair. Five lives brought together through the magic of life, coincidence, and sacrifice. I hope, in the end, we will have lived full lives and recapped the whole event from childhood to adulthood in its entirety. I pray we will conclude that it was all worth it and fulfilling.

We won’t get to say goodbye—most people don’t get the chance to do that as the end often isn’t predictable. But, we will look forward to picking up the conversation in the next place.

Peace, chris

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