A Condom, a Tampon Applicator and a Facemask

A Condom, a Tampon Applicator and a Facemask

I went for a walk on the beach recently, and these were items I passed by. I wondered if I could weave them into some sort of narrative. Would it be sad, funny, or part of a story? Nope. How about a PSA about garbage on the beach? Okay, but not my wheelhouse. A joke like the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the Buddhist, walking into a bar? I was mildly interested in exploring this one. In this environment, I was sure to offend someone, so I scratched it.
It doesn’t take too much for me to come up with something to tap into my iPad. If I have to put any effort into something, it won’t be written and, therefore, not read.
I consider my over/under to be one. If more than one person reads a post I write, I will have achieved a wild-ass goal for myself. That’s where I started this six years ago, but the number was just a little higher. The platform was LinkedIn. I gave it a try with the over/under set at 100.
My career was coming to an end. I didn’t want to become a scumbag like my coworkers after decades of being on the right side of the trade. I figured a good way to spend my time on someone else’s dime was to find a hobby. I couldn’t play golf and build a team, but I could write. So I did. My writing was mostly about business through long-form posts. I used them as a way to communicate with my employer. I worked for a trashy company named Scivantage and tried to help them. The board who hired me and I were on different pages, in a different book, written in another language, by someone else.
My bet, which I don’t recommend, being if they didn’t like what I was saying directly to them, maybe they would take notice as many thousands of people read, commented, and loved my writing. I connected with Arianna Huffington, and she gave me access to her site. She featured me. Crickets.
These posts are on my website christianjfarber.com. They are available from LinkedIn, Good Men Project, Huffington Post, and Thrive Global if you’re interested.
In the end, it is my story to tell, and I will explain it my way, on my dime with my time.
Peace, chris

Is the Problem Processing the Unemployed?

The unemployment office is overworked?  If so, this is an enigma inside a paradox surrounded by an oxymoron if there ever was one. The claims are piling up so fast they cant be processed.

Decades ago, I was an HR guy at Chase Manhattan; I spent five years moving through the different disciplines of HR before I decided to move my career into something that paid real money.  The lessons I learned there, though, are still among of the most valuable.

The check processing area of the bank was a maze of desks filled with people pushing paper (checks) through the system. There wasn’t much in the way of automation in the early ’80s. I was sent to sub-basement 5 to fire an employee who was putting the unprocessed checks into the garbage because she couldn’t keep up with the work. Her solution was to” throw it out.”

It doesn’t take much to make valuable, worthless in times of stress. We had that in the early ’80s, and have it now in the form of recession. For some, there comes the point where caring about what you do doesn’t make the list.

But my friends at the unemployment office arent throwing the work out but are slowing down processing because of errors and omissions. That’s on the filer. I don’t think its a stretch that people are so worked up over this virus that they cant fill out a simple claim form correctly.

If you take your time and check it twice, you will increase the chances of getting your check.

Peace, chris

Career Sausage

Consider the sausage. By definition “it is a cylindrical meat product usually made from ground meat, often pork, beef, or veal, along with salt, spices and other flavorings, and bread crumbs, with a skin around it.” (WikipediaThe skin or casing is either manufactured or made from the intestines of other unfortunate animals who checked the donor box on their license prior to leaving us. “Manufactured artificial casings are made of cellulose, collagen or synthetic materials,” Wikipedia continues. I am not sure if those ingredients are worse for us or the casings. In the end, the casing serves as a funnel for the sausage to fill and get tied off like a drug addict does, prior to cooking.

With fennel. No fennel.

Fennel seems to be key in making sausage Italian. Fennel tastes like licorice but isn’t, or anise, which also has a similar flavor. Origin seems to play a major part in German sausages or wursts. For example, frankfurters come from Frankfurt, Germany. Find a place on earth, and they have a version of a recipe for sausage and a story to go with it.

Hot dogs with ketchup and mustard isolated on white background.

Some have written about the similarities between writing our nations’ laws and producing sausage. Being a lawmaker notwithstanding, I think just about any job or career is easily comparable to making the tasty links. It’s hard work, requires mystical techniques and recipes, a dash of luck and some things you would rather not tell anybody about. For more pain, add to it the machines and noises that blend it all together. Once made, the phallic food just looks bad, like some of my greatest career successes and failures, which resemble the images of a terrible tractor trailer accident on the New Jersey Turnpike. I struggle to find a career bliss image that looks better than a big number on my W-2. Maybe that’s why so many divert their focus to job titles.

A title is the cheapest thing a company can give you.

It costs nothing for the business but the shrapnel and angst for the employee who didn’t get it. You have to be careful when you accept them. I learned this the hard way. I have been a Chief Marketing Officer, Advisor, Head of Marketing and Sales: Business Development, Global Support, Relationship Management, and any combination of all of them.

I do, however, describe myself as a marketing and business development guy. But you have to be careful with the title you accept.

First, access who the job reports to. I had an ambiguous title once that reported to the top guy. After leaving the company, I found it next to impossible to explain, kind of like explaining why we enjoy sausage so much.

Would you want to be a (add your own title here) to Ken Lay from Enron, or John Scully during his Apple years (he became famous for firing Steve Jobs)? How about Bernie Ebbers from Worldcom, Guccione from Penthouse, or anything Trump? Who you associate (and run with) is important. Don’t get sucked into the sausage casing of corporate titles.

Where’s the beef?

Your career has many ingredients. Many say that like a good sausage, your career has to have a foundation and direction. In the old days, it was something like this: You go to school, become an accountant, latch on to a big company, never even think about leaving, kill all your good ideas just after origination, and receive your award for filling the office floor with broken #2 pencil tips. Congrats! You now have a watch to tell you what time it is for the two or three years you have left before you donate your intestines to become the casing for someone else’s career sausage.

4725809-broken-pencil.jpg

How about this one?

Try everything that interests you. Make that the basis of your own millennial sausage recipe. Who cares if you have the skill; just try it. Give it your best shot. Show up and try. If you have to, cut it and fly. Fill the career menu with your own authentic recipe. Beg, borrow, and steal whatever you can from others.

Next, add some of the you that makes you, you. And there you go. Sounds simple but it’s not.

In addition to the functional areas above, I have worked in the following industries: automotive, banking, recruiting, technology, insurance, and outsourcing. I have never built, marketed, or sold a car, or made a loan. I can’t read code, can only spell actuary, struggle with the balance sheet and its hidden meanings, and have never performed a service. I didn’t follow a script. My dad was a blue collar guy. He didn’t have any advice for me on how to become “the man.”

Accept that your work will be hard, contain pain, discomfort and some failure, too. You will learn a ton of lessons from the experiences you consumed. Happiness and success are easily forgotten. Like with a good recipe for sausage, we struggle to remember unless we write it down. I will bet you, though, that you will remember the time you added anchovies or Spam to your sausage and will never do it again.

My best, Chris

My Why: will make you think

My Why: will make you think

Over the past few years I have figured out my “Why.” I spent real time thinking about what made me, me. I didn’t set out to answer the Why question until it was suggested to me by my friend, Sarah Elkins. Last year she invited me to the first No Longer Virtual session in Atlanta. Two days of workshops to meet, to learn, and to connect face to face with some super-talented people. I jumped at the opportunity. I went, participated, learned and made a couple of handfuls of new friends who shared a common love of communicating.

Recently, Sarah called me and asked if I was interested in participating in NLV 2018 in Denver, February 22 and 23. We scheduled a call to get clear on the workshop with my co-facilitator, Kathleen Byars. To read the rest of my article on LinkedIn click here.